The Struggle Bus

Confession time: I've been riding the Struggle Bus for the last couple of months.  I boarded this crazy bus on May 7th with a small weight gain and just kept on riding it through all the end of year activities and part of the summer with my kids.  I used events that popped up on my usual weigh-in day (Tuesday) as excuses why I couldn't go to the meeting (never mind that there are meetings every single day of the week) and I ate accordingly (including all the things I hadn't been eating since I joined WW...you know, like you do right before you start a new diet...kinda like the last meal, only I had a whole bunch of those!).  I kept telling myself I'd jump off the Struggle Bus at the next stop (aka weigh-in day), but each week I just rolled right past that stop and just kept on riding the Struggle Bus!  

Each week, I told myself that I'd get myself back on track and then go back to WW meetings.  But every week, I found new reasons (excuses) why I couldn't quite get back on track....money (high-fat foods are cheaper), schedule (something always came up), special events (who wants to watch what you eat at a party?).  Thankfully, I have this sweet friend who knows the struggle well and she loved me through all of it while constantly encouraging me to get off that Struggle Bus and back on the Weight Loss Train! 

Full disclosure...I have not tracked one bite (except the counting I sorta, kinda did in my head...well, sometimes) and I have not been 100% consistent with using Plexus, either (though I was more consistent with that than I was my eating).  If it hadn't been for my friend stubbornly refusing to allow me to stay on the struggle bus (thank you!), I might have gone all the way back to where I was 10 months ago (shudder!).  But this morning, I got my butt out of bed and got to the very last meeting of the week!  And I kid you not...this was the topic:

SERIOUSLY?!?  Talk about God reading my mail...just when I needed it most, this was the topic of the week!  I literally laughed out loud when I saw it...and told the lady weighing me in about my journey on the Struggle Bus.  After a brief conversation, she gently said, "When you're ready..." indicating that she was ready for me to step on the scale...so I took a deep breath & gently stepped on with my eyes closed (as if any of that would shield me from the reality of what I had done).  As I stepped off the scale, she revealed my fate...I had gained 6.4 pounds.  YIKES!  I was MORTIFIED!!!  All that work undone!  BUT...I have some friends who are with me on this journey and when I shared my weigh-in with them, they pointed out that it took me almost 2 months to gain that...and I've had weeks when I've lost 3 pounds in a single week, so I can recover from this!  I was so embarrassed to reveal my failure, and these amazing friends supported and encouraged me!  Folks, if you are trying to make changes in your life (whether it be weight loss or something else), get yourself a village of supporters who will love you through both the ups and the downs...and encourage you to keep going no matter what!  My leader also said in the meeting this morning that we should expect to gain as we go on this journey.  This is a new way of living...and there will be some ups and downs along our journey.  So, the time has come for me to step off the Struggle Bus.  Will I get back on it again?  Probably...but maybe next time I won't ride it so long!  :)

A Busy Month

No, I haven't totally fallen off the wagon and no, I haven't given up.  It's just been a busy month for me and I haven't had the chance to blog.  On March 19th, I lost 3 pounds (bringing me to 58 pounds total lost pounds)...and then life got REALLY busy!  While still at my WW meeting, I got a text message asking if we could take in an 8-year-old boy and his 5-year-old sister.  If I haven't mentioned it before, my husband and I are foster parents.  While we had a bed for the little girl, taking her brother would take some juggling.  We had to get an extra bed for our boy room and do some re-arranging of furniture to make that bed fit!  The kids are just the sweetest...but with every new foster placement comes extra stuff to do...people coming to visit the house, letting the school know we are now the parental contact, making appointments, etc.  All this and I'm still working on my master's degree online and doing the day-to-day stuff of having five of my own kids (plus homeschooling the oldest, church ministry, etc.).  To say it was a stressful week would be an understatement!  The picture above was one I found to represent a busy mom...but this picture might be a little more accurate of what my life is like...

Anyway, I lost another 2.4 pounds that week...in spite of some stress eating that I did that week (thank you, Plexus!).  The following week, I stayed EXACTLY THE SAME...not an ounce either way!  I'm not gonna lie...there was some stress eating going on that week, too.  But, I didn't gain, so I was happy (especially since I was pretty sure I was going to gain at least a pound that week)!  Last week, I lost 4/10 of a pound...still on the downward slide, so all is good!  So...right now, I'm sitting at a grand total of 60.4 pounds gone...which is apparently what FIVE weiner dogs would weigh!

I have done all of this with almost NO exercise (with the exception of an exercise spurt here and there)...but tomorrow, that will change!  Several of my friends attend Burn Boot Camp and apparently, Facebook thinks I need to join them because I've been seeing an ad for them ALL WEEK!  They are running a $59 for 4 weeks special...so I finally gave in and signed up tonight.  Oh...if you KNEW the research that went into this decision (as if I didn't have enough research to do for my master's degree assignments)!  It all started when another friend of mine talked me into going with her to a free class there with her on New Year's Day to try it out.  I made it through...but didn't feel ready for that level of exercise.  But...it's been nagging at the back of my mind ever since and with less than a half of a pound lost in two weeks and some seriously flabby arms (because even though the fat is making an exodus, the skin is still the same size it was when it inhabited the fat), I have decided to give it a go.  It's only a 4-week commitment...so if I can't keep up (or die trying), we've only lost $59.  

So...now you are caught up.  OK...probably all 3 of the people who read this blog already know me personally and knew all of this anyway...but maybe, just maybe, somewhere along the line someone I don't know will read this and be encouraged by it!  ;)

Challenges

It's been awhile since I last posted on here because life has been crazy.  After my last post, I was preparing for a trip up to Liberty University to attend an intensive class required for my master's degree.  I haven't been on a trip by myself since I got married over 16 years ago...and haven't been on an airplane since my almost 7 year old son was a newborn!  To say there was some stress eating involved would be an understantement, I think.  But, I tried making good choices along the way.

The week before I left, I weighed in at my normal meeting and lost eight tenths of a pound.  Hey...a loss is a loss, no matter how small...right?!?  But, I had a plan for my trip and I was determined to stay as "on track" as I could given the few choices I would have available to me during the trip.

My first challenge came in the airport on Sunday (Day 1 of the trip).  I had a 3 hour layover at lunch time but had a hard time finding something "healthy" to eat.  I finally found this (which I paid WAY too much for, by the way):

I took out the peanut butter, but ate the chicken, veggies, fruit, and mozzarella balls. It wasn't too bad...but certainly not what I WANTED to eat!  ;)  When I landed in Virginia, I drove to the hotel and got myself checked in before meeting up with one of my classmates for dinner.  Part of the intensive package included a dining plan for the week that started on Monday.  We decided to go to Cracker Barrell and I got the grilled chicken, green beans...and dumplings.  Yes, I know dumplings aren't great for you, but I'd eaten pretty healthy up to that point and had the WW points to do it, so I indulged.  :)  

Class started bright and early Monday morning with many stressful challenges (mostly with the hotel, but that's another story).  Our breakfast options each morning were eggs, bacon, breakfast potatoes, oatmeal, fruit, breads, and pasteries.  I won't go into a blow-by-blow of what I ate each day...but since eggs and fruit are 0 points on the WW program, I had those each day along with a different carb option.  Lunch at the dining hall was included in our package and was like a huge food court style buffet.  Many options to choose from, not many of them all that healthy...and all you can eat.  But, I made the best choices I could without feeling totally deprived.  Dinner was provided at the hotel each night and I did the best I could there...again, not the healthiest options, but I did what I could.

The class ended at noonish on Friday and there was a WW studio in the same plaza as where our class was held, so I made my way over there for a quick weigh-in to see how I'd done.  I tried to keep in mind all the things I'd tell someone else on this journey given the same situation...that it was a different scale, different day, different time of day, I'd already eaten that day, and I was wearing heavier clothes than I'd ever wear in Florida.  With that in mind, I sucked it up and stepped on the scale.  To my horror, I had gained 2.8 pounds!  YIKES!!!!  Definitely NOT what I wanted to see on that scale!  I was meeting some fellow classmates for lunch after...and let's just say I was not in a good mindset to be good.  I wasn't horrible, but I definitely didn't make the best choices I could have.  

The flight home the following day was long.  This time I had an almost 4 hour layover in the airport around dinner time.  I did not go for the healthiest option available, but still tried to stay somewhat on track.  When I got home, I struggled a bit with WANTING to get fully back on track, but I FORCED myself to make better choices.  I tracked everything I ate (and had been mostly tracking during the trip as well...just not EVERYTHING)!  ;)  

I'm not gonna lie...I was quite nervous heading into my regular weigh-in on Tuesday.  It had only been 4 days since my weigh-in with the almost 3 pound weight gain and I had NO idea what to expect now that I was back in my regular weigh-in clothes at my regular weigh-in location.  To my GREAT surprise, I was DOWN 3.4 pounds!  I had actually lost more than I had gained on the trip!  I attribute this to some of the things I tried to remind myself of earlier (different location, different clothes, different time of day, etc.)...but also the fact that despite my food choices on the trip, I was pretty faithful to take my Plexus products.  I think they kept me from going totally overboard, and the Block kept some of my bad choices from taking up permanent residence on my body!  :)  

All this to say, I am now down a total of 55 pounds since August 27th!  That, my friends is the same as a 5,000 BTU Air conditioner (according to the weight loss comparison pictures I've found on the internet).  I have no idea what that is, exactly...but I do know it is quite an accomplishment...and one that I'm quite proud of right now.  :)  The pounds are not falling off as quickly now as they did in the beginning of this journey...but they are still coming off.  This is a long journey for me...one where some weeks will be faster than others...and I'm learning to be ok with that and refusing to quit.  :)

Small Victories

This weight loss gig is all about stringing together a bunch of small victories.  The individual weeks aren't much to write about in their own right.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I love seeing that scale work it's way down to smaller numbers each week, even if it is just a fraction of a pound.  But when we look at the bigger picture and see how those small victories each week add up, it is inspiring!  :)  

But victories aren't just won on the scale.  Sometimes those little differences add up to what we call non-scale victories.  And to be honest, when I thought about this blog on Monday, I thought I'd just be writing about non-scale victories because I really didn't think I was going to lose.  I had not been very faithful to take my Plexus products every day and I had made some eating choices that weren't quite in line with WW guidelines.  So, I was fully expecting to have to admit to the few of you who actually read this blog that I had not lost any weight this week or that I had gained.

In fact, I was so sure that's the direction that my blog was going to take that my subconscious created quite the picture in my dreams the night before weigh-in day.  I dreamed, probably in the wee hours of Tuesday morning, that I was at my friend's house.  This friend is also doing WW and has been a great encouragement to me.  In real life, her birthday was Monday and she had posted pictures of her family birthday celebration, so I'm sure this played into my subconscious story line.  Anyway, her family had prepared this HUGE spread of yummy food.  In my dream, I had stopped by on my way to weigh-in and told my friend that I was going to gain anyway so I might as well enjoy myself...and pulled up a chair!  LOL!

So, before I get to what actually happened on the scale at weigh-in on Tuesday, let me share with you the story I planned to tell about my non-scale victory.  This past weekend, I was outside with my kids.  Our house is on a little over two acres of land, in the shape of a rectangle...which means we don't have a lot of space on the sides of our house, but we have a fair amount in the front and a HUGE amount in the back.  It's one of the things that attracted me to the house because it offered my kids a great area to run, play, and explore.  However, in the four and a half years we have lived in this house, I had never been toward the back of the property.  I don't think I've made it more than a few yards away from our back door, to be honest.  It always seemed SOOOOOOOOO FAR!  I would be out of breath just getting off the back poarch (or lanai, as it is called in Florida) and to the kids' playground.  But this past weekend when I was out in the back yard looking for something my kids had lost, I found myself at the far back and feeling fine!  That, my friends, was a HUGE victory that can't be measured on a scale but came as a result of all those small victories on the scale that helped me get healthier.

So, as I walked into the WW meeting on Tuesday morning to face the scale, I was hoping for the best but prepared for the worst.  I honestly thought if I lost anything, it would be half a pound or less.  BUT...the scale showed that I had lost a WHOLE POUND!!!!  Now, a pound might not seem like much to you...but when you add that pound to the others that have left before it, you find that I've now lost a total of 53.6 pounds!  According to the weight-loss pictures I've found online that compare pounds lost to objects that you can hold and measure, I've lost 21 horseshoes!!!  My nephew would be so proud...because while I have no idea what 21 horseshoes weighs, I bet he does!  He owns and shows horses, so he's held a few horseshoes in his lifetime, I'm sure!

So...while a pound might not sound like much, to me, it was a BIG deal!  It's all in how you look at things!  When I thought I'd lost less than half a pound and saw the scale move more than that, a whole pound was almost enough to make me do a happy dance.  But other weeks, when I thought I'd had a pretty good week and the scale only showed a pound (or less) lost, I could easily get discouraged.

That's why it is important to take those small victories and then look at how they are adding up to get you to that big goal!  I can look at the one little pound I lost this week...or I can look at the 53.6 pounds I've lost since the end of August...or I can look at the fact that I still have probably another 100 pounds to go.  If I focus on the 1 pound or the 100 left to go, I'm probably gonna feel discouraged....but if I focus on the 53.6 pounds that have left my body in a little over 5 months, I'll realize just how far I've come and that the rest of the journey is just as doable...and I'll feel encouraged!  So, that's where I'm trying to keep my focus these days!  :)

Want to know more about WW, Plexus, or my journey in general?  Feel free to comment with your email below and I'll be happy to tell you more!  :)

God bless you!  <3

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

I just realized as I went to make this week's blog post that I had posted last week's weigh-in blog on my fostering blog (Loving on the Least of These) instead of this one...OOPS!  ;)

After a 3.4-pound weight loss last week that got me to my 50-pound mark (and maybe a little just too much celebrating that fact), I knew going into this week's weigh-in that I wouldn't be seeing a big drop this week.  I was just hoping that the number on the scale would be less than it was last week...even if by a tiny smidge.  And it was... eight-tenths of a pound to be exact.  Not quite a whole pound, but better than I thought it might be, so I'll take it.

Regardless of whether I lost a little or a lot, I like to think back over my week to see what worked and what didn't.  The previous week had been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me.  I was so excited about hitting that next big milestone...it almost felt like I'd crossed a finish line.  And yet...I still have a long, long way to go!  In reality, I've only crossed the first major checkpoint.  I let my hair down a bit after that big loss...er, win!  ;)  I'm not gonna lie...I indulged a little.  Life also got in the way of a couple of my workouts.  I also missed a few of my Plexus supplements during the week.  And it all showed on the scale.

If I just look at that one week, I could get really discouraged.  If I just focused on the failures, I could easily give up.  Decide I've come far enough.  Go back.  Give in.  Let the addiction take over yet again.  But, I've played that hand before and it didn't end well.  I lost 80 pounds once before...worked hard for those 80 pounds.  But then Life happened big time.  My cousin who had been my biggest motivator and encourager moved away, I started my teaching internship while still working full time at a conference calling company, and I was only sleeping about 3 hours per day during the week.  Slowly those 80 pounds crept back on...and now, even after losing over 50 pounds, I still have another 25 or so pounds to lose before getting to what I weighed BEFORE losing those 80 pounds!  Talk about humbling!

BUT...instead of focusing on one tough week or where I've been or how far I still have to go, I'm choosing to focus instead on how far I've come THIS TIME!  All those other pounds I've lost and gained before were just training to prepare me for this battle.  I'm stronger now.  My motivation is NOT in another person but in me and what God is doing in and through me!  I'm not competing against what has been done in the past or what someone else is doing, but on what I am doing now!  I have now lost a total of 52.6 pounds since August 27th...just shy of 6 months.  I've lost as much as a 40-inch flat screen TV!  Just for fun (and because another friend suggested it), I decided to weigh my three middle kids.  The older of the three weighed in at 50.4 pounds, the other two weighed in at 41.4 pounds each.  I have lost 2.2 pounds more than my son who will be 7 years old in June!

Tonight, my husband and I have an opportunity to go out to eat with our oldest while the younger kids enjoy a special event.  We are going to Olive Garden because it is my teenage son's all-time favorite restaurant.  Do you KNOW what special they have at Olive Garden right now?  NEVER-ENDING STUFFED PASTA!!!!  Six months ago, I would totally have chowed down on some stuffed pasta...maybe a few bowls.  But instead, I took the time to look through my WW app and make a plan.  I do NOT have to give up the salad and breadsticks I love so much...I'm just going to pair it with a low-point soup and enjoy!  And I'll probably take some Plexus Block to combat the carbs in the breadstick (or two) that I will eat.  I have the points for them...but the Block is a great tool to add in to help make sure those breadsticks don't stay around for the weigh-in on Tuesday!  ;)

It's all about choices.  I'm making better choices and I'm using the tools I have at my disposal to get me to that final goal!  I've got a BIG birthday coming up in July...I'm hoping to be down another 50 by then.  It won't happen all at once...but it can happen one choice at a time!  And just like the turtle in that famous children's fable, I'll keep plodding along.  Maybe I'll hit the 100-pound mark by my birthday...maybe I'll end up just shy of it or just past it...but either way, I'll get there! :)

Finally Finding my Groove & the Tools I've Used To Get There

I started this blog way back in 2013 and last posted in it almost 2 years ago.  A lot has happened in my life during that time and I wasn't sure if I would ever come back to this blog...but today just felt like the day to make a comeback!  :)  After all, I've found some success and seem to have finally found my weight loss grove...so now, maybe, just maybe, I've got something to say that others might wanna hear.  ;)

If you know me or you've read this blog, then you know my struggle with my weight has been a life-long battle.  I've found some success...and I've had lots of failures.  I came into this world weighing 9 pounds...pretty big for a newborn...but not if you consider I was about 3 weeks late.  I guess I'm just a late bloomer.  ;)  Overall, I was normal size until I was about five or six years old...when adjectives to describe me might have been "chunky" or "husky" or "plump"...or even "healthy" (but not in a good way).  There are some psychological reasons for that, I'm sure.  A lot of changes were happening in my life around that time and food became my way of coping with those changes.  It became my drug of choice if you will.  I vividly remember the first time I recognized that food had an impact on my mood.  I was about 17 years old or so and was really upset about something.  I stopped at DQ for a Blizzard and a few bites in, suddenly felt calmer.  However, I did not make the connection between that and my weight issues.  It only fed the addiction and when I was upset, I began to turn to food even more to comfort me.  My weight has fluctuated up and down for pretty much the rest of my life.  I go in cycles of trying to lose weight, getting frustrated & giving up, swearing never to diet again...only to decide to give it one more go sometime later.  

But here I am, five months into a new rhythm and finally finding a measure of success.  It started innocently enough.  A conversation with my mother about WW.  She offered to pay for my initial start if I would give it another go (I've lost count of how many times I've tried WW and failed in the past).  The conversation happened at just the right moment and I agreed.  Deciding to strike while the iron was hot, so to speak, I asked my hubby if I could go ahead and sign up.  He agreed...and so my journey began on August 27, 2018.  

In addition to following the WW plan, I decided to get more consistent with using Plexus...and tried a few of their new products as well.  I now take Metaburn and Edge every morning with my Plexus Slim drink.  At night, I take the ProBio pill and when I eat a high-carb meal, I pop a couple pills of Block.  I discovered this combo (WW & Plexus) is just the one-two-punch I need to be successful!  I lost 10.4 pounds my first week and have consistently lost an average of 2-3 pounds per week since.  Another factor has been the encouragement of others who are on the same journey and my own determination to get it done this time.  The last time I was this successful, I had the encouragement of my cousin Kathy to push me along.  She saw me at my then heaviest weight and, having successfully dealt with her own life-long weight battle, knew the struggle well.  We started with exercise.  She had recently given birth to her daughter, whom I adored.  She invited me to take walks with the two of them.  Since I loved spending time with my cousin and her daughter, I agreed.  Then she started a weight loss group at our church and I joined that as well.  I lost about 80 pounds or so...but when my cousin and her family moved, I lost my motivation.  Slowly, the weight crept back on.  I tried several times to lose the weight again, but without the motivation my successes were short-lived.  My addiction to food was more powerful than my desire to lose weight.

But now, Kara's got her groove back!  As of my weigh-in last week, I've lost a total of 48.4 pounds this time around.  This past weekend, I was in Sam's club and happened to see a 48-pound bag of dog food (pictured above).  Realizing that's almost the exact amount of pounds I'd lost to that point, I decided to pick it up and feel the weight I'd lost so far.  MAN!  That was one HEAVY bag of dog food...and I'd been carrying the equivalent of that weight around on my body for quite some time!  No wonder I was tired all the time & found it hard to get off the couch to play with my kids!  I've still got a long way to go...but realizing how much I've lost already and how much better I feel now, I can only imagine how much better I'm going to feel when I get a couple more of those bags worth of weight off!  :)

All this to say that if you need to lose weight...whether you need to lose 10 pounds or 100, you CAN do this!  I found some tools that really helped me find my groove...but none of them would have worked without my determination to make it work.  I had to be ready.  I wish I'd gotten ready years ago...but I can't go back and change that.  I can only start from where I am and make the change going forward.  It's not easy, and every day...shoot, sometimes every minute...I have to make choices about whether I'm going to let the addiction win or my desire to be healthy.  Today, it's been my desire to be healthy.  Tomorrow, I'll weigh in again and hopefully, I'll have hit that 50 pound mark I'm hoping for...if not, there's always next week.  :)

When You Want to Exercise But Your Body is Having None Of It!

I know...I haven't blogged in awhile.  At least not on this blog.  And there's really no excuse...though I could give you a few.  I've just been very frustrated lately and didn't feel I had anything of value to say.  But the truth of the matter is that I've been on a bit of a roller coaster with my weight loss, mostly downhill (and not in a good way).  \

My last post was in October...it's now March, that alone should tell you something.  In October, I was starting to give up on myself.  You know...the old excuses...Halloween candy, Thanksgiving, Christmas...too many temptations to overcome.  Not to mention, I was buying sugar laden flavored popcorn by the Sam's Club bagfulls just so I could get enough cloth Santa sacks (that they came in) for all my kiddos at Christmas.  Ya know, because that would make Christmas morning a little more Pintresty...I've always wanted to be a Pinterest Mom.  ;)  But to be honest with you, I really didn't even WANT to try to eat healthy.  Sure...I wanted to BE healthy, but I just didn't want to do the work necessary to get there.  I'm not sure I even believed I could...after all, I've tried for several decades and never really been successful.

Then a friend talked me into a BeachBody challenge in January.  I love a good challenge & felt like it was exactly what I needed to get motivated.  And it was!  I was drinking the Shakology and loving it.  I was eating healthy.  AND...biggest surprise of all, I was exercising and ENJOYING it!!!  Not since the time my cousin was my exercise buddy could I say "exercise" and "enjoy" in the same sentence! And even then, it was the time with my cousin that I enjoyed, not really the exercise.  ;)  But I really did enjoy the BeachBody exercise video...and my little kids loved doing it with me!

BUT...one day while exercising, I heard a "pop" and felt a sharp pain in my knee.  I had to sit down immediately.  The pain didn't last long, so I got up and kept going.  And I kept going.  And sometimes I even pushed past the pain.  But the pain never fully went away, so I checked with my doctor & she suggested I rest it for awhile (I actually got doctor's orders NOT to exercise!), take some ibuprofen and see how it did.  I'd like to say that was all it needed...but it didn't.  It still hurts when I stand up after having sat for awhile and I have to limp for awhile before I can walk normally.  Sometimes it will lock up on me while I'm walking and I end up walking like I've got a peg leg.  And the pain is worse.  So, last Thursday found me back in the doctor's office...this time with a different diagnosis.  She suspects a meniscal tear.  YIKES!  I will go for an MRI on Saturday & then follow up with an orthopedic doctor.  I'm praying this doesn't mean surgery...ain't nobody got time for that in this house!

I'm REALLY bummed!  Did I really just say that about not being able to exercise?  Why yes, yes I did!  And I'll tell you why.  I had a goal of losing a lot of weight by October...and I'm not making much progress.  Why October, you might ask?  Well, my hubby has a conference for work in Orlando that month and the kids and I always go with him on these work trips.  We are hoping to be able to do some fun things with the kids while we are there and I really don't want to be so big that I can't fully enjoy our time there...or to be physically unable to do some of the things we have planned.  So...if you are still following my blog, please pray for my knee to heal quickly and for me to find the motivation to eat healthy during this time.  When I'm exercising, the motivation to eat well is so much easier.  Pretty sure that's because I don't want to undo all the hard work I've just done!  ;)